hi·a·tus hīˈādəs/ noun a pause or gap in a sequence, series, or process.
Last year (2015) began on a hard note. My heart ached and I cried a lot. The end of 2014 the relationship I had grown in and really enjoyed and loved, ended. I had invested a great deal of emotion, time, and future-dreaming into my relationship with t. But in God's providence, He saw fit for what we shared to come to an end. It does not completely make sense to me, even now, but I have come to a greater trust in God and His plan. Which is not my plan. I say I have grown (atleast I *hope* I have), but it has not been without a great deal of tears, grieving, and some kicking/screaming.
Around the same time my relationship ended, I also began a new job - in the labor/delivery unit. It was rough starting something brand new at such a stressful and emotional point in my personal life, but I stuck with it. Work was a good distraction and kept me "going". I learned a great deal about the labor process, breastfeeding, how to support a laboring woman, and also about circulating in the O.R. I read some books about labor and breastfeeding and also became certified in Neonatal Resuscitation (NRP). By Summertime I was catching on, though most nights (at work) were quite stressful. By Autumn I was enjoying it more and really finding my groove with work and with my co-workers. But still felt restless in life. And continuing on night shifts was tiring, as it had been now 3 years since first beginning nights as a nurse. I felt like every month or so I'd have a bad week where I was extremely tired and emotionally/mentally worn out and my thinking was wacky due to being tired. And, it wasn't a healthy cycle to be in. Though there were many other healthy + positive things happening in my life, such as, book club, new friendships, new nephew (Ephraim), new rental house, amazing summer adventures, etc., I knew this was a cycle I didn't want to prolong and I was ready to seek change.
In the Fall I began praying about "what's next" and looking into various things - moving out of state, volunteer work, missions, etc. My mentor really encouraged me in this process and my family was involved too. The end of October I received an email plea from TLC Children's Home (in South Africa) asking for some help getting their volunteer numbers up. I served there in 2007 for six months, and have kept in touch on and off with the staff. I began thinking about the possibility of going there. A couple weeks later I asked my manager about taking a leave of absence to help TLC and then return to my position, but it wasn't approved. I prayed that either way it went that God would bring direction through it. A few weeks later I decided to still go ahead with helping TLC and booked a flight! I then met with my manager and shared my decision (I was so nervous). She affirmed my decision to go and also said she would be glad to re-hire me at any point in the future. (Amazing!) I then worked three more weeks in L + D. My last night was Jan 8.
Leaving last week was bitter sweet. The work there was hard work, and not all fun or happy. But I grew personally through it and developed my nursing skills too. And made some new friends along the way. In the last few weeks before my last shift I had a different perspective... Ending something hard, a tough work year, a year of heartache and healing, feels good, but also feels like I'm leaving a part of me there. Knowing so much of this past year grew me and shaped me, I see more clearly, how "growth happens in the valley" and "beauty comes from ashes".
So, that's the nut shell version. There is much more to it, but didn't want to bore you. Now this brings me to this week. The first week of this, so called, hiatus (?). Using these first couple weeks to share time with friends, resting at home, hosting a friend visiting from Oregon, and preparing/packing for my 9 weeks traveling + volunteering coming up. Woo Hoo! I'll share more of those details next time. Good night. P.s. Below is my farewell cake from work and my mom + I out to breakfast Saturday to celebrate the ending of one chapter and beginning of the next!
