There. I did it.
I went to a place where he goes.
I felt nervous, at first.
I didn't know what I would do if I saw him again.
I prayed as I drove: Lord, help me, if I see him, to know what to say.
Then, we got there, parked, went in.
I looked around as we sat down, and I was half-trying to look around for him,
and half-trying to avoid looking around for him incase he was there.
My heart was pounding pretty hard.
We sang, we prayed, we listened.
I felt less nervous.
I knew it would be okay.
If I saw him, I knew it would be alright.
But, I didn't.
Then, when the service was done, I left.
I was okay with not "bumping" into him, but at the same time I half-wished I had.
I'm home now.
And, I wonder sometimes...
Will I ever see him again?
What would it be like?
How would we interact?
Would anything come of it?
If we had a happenstance meeting?
Why is this hard, still?
Sometimes, it still hurts.
I still think of him.
Then I try to pray.
Moving on is hard.
And, I'm not there yet.
