Reminded again

"memory is the power to gather roses in winter"

2012-01-20T14:04:00.004-05:00

thinking of warm summer days along the shores of the Great Lakes, on this cold wintery day...

"... the crooks and crannies of our own characters."

2012-01-12T19:18:00.002-05:00

"... It is slow work, so slow that it takes God all time and eternity to make a man and woman after His own purpose. The only way we can be of use to God is to let Him take us through the crooks and crannies of our own characters. It is astounding how ignorant we are about ourselves! We do not know envy when we see it, or laziness, or pride. Jesus reveals to us all that this body has been harbouring before his grace began to work. How many of us have learned to look in with courage?"

"We have to get rid of the idea that we understand ourselves, it is the last conceit to go. The only One Who understands us is God."

--O. Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest, January 12th.

//Reading these words tonight in my time with God caused me to stop, pause, and think about this. "The only way we can be of use to God is to let Him take us through the crooks and crannies of our own characters." Ouch! I know I have some "bad parts" to my character. Deep in the crannies of who I am, and boy oh boy, sometimes you do not need to even go very deep into the crannies, you may just "walk past it" and the anger or bitterness or jealousy pops out at ya! My life is not "all together", my heart aches, I rebel, I fail, I fall, my life is MESSY, I swear and cry out and scream to God as I drive in my car at times. "How could it be like this God?" "Why is life so shitty?" "God, do you hear me?"

He does hear; He listens and KNOWS. He knows already, even before I say a word, He knows. Abba is all-loving, all-powerful. He clothes the lilies of the fields, and how much more, does He care for ME?!

Okay, so, God understands. Somehow, God sees all my shit, and STILL loves me, and calls me DAUGHTER... I have loved you with an e-v-e-r-l-a-s-t-i-n-g LOVE, Abba whispers. (Jeremiah 31:3)

I have been stuck thinking for a while now that because life has been so, so hard the past year and I've got some shenanigans going on, and I just didn't feel like praying a lot of the time; that I don't need to come in prayer to God. However, recently I was pondering that, and realized I don't need to get my shit together or "feel like it" or have the right words, to start praying again more. I can pray right here, in the middle of my mess, just come near to God in Jesus in the midst of whatever I'm going through or fighting or dealing with. God sees me, right where I'm at.

"silent and unseen I come, but with infinite power and love"

2012-01-12T15:15:00.002-05:00

‎"And I want you to know that whenever you invite Me, I do come – always, without fail. Silent and unseen I come, but with infinite power and love, and bringing the many gifts of My Spirit. I come with My mercy, with My desire to forgive and heal you, and with a love for you beyond your comprehension – a love every bit as great as the love I have received from the Father (“As much as the Father has loved me, I have loved you…” Jn. 15:10) I come - longing to console you and give you strength, to lift you up and bind all your wounds. I bring you My light, to dispel your darkness and all your doubts. I come with My power, that I might carry you and all your burdens; with My grace, to touch your heart and transform your life; and My peace I give to still your soul." //Mother Teresa

(my sister Tali posted this and I was touched by the words and just had to share it too.)

Joyous 2012 to you all. only by His grace.

africa inland mission

2011-12-24T00:34:00.001-05:00

Identity from AIM On-Field Media on Vimeo.

Abba Father, is this how/where You might use me in the near future? I await the adventures to come...

12/01/87

2011-12-01T23:35:00.003-05:00

Today is a special day!

I turned 24 years young today!

Thankful for new beginnings.

Thankful for life and people to share it with.

Last night Mom, Dad, PJ and I went to La Pita for
a special dinner, then I headed to bible study
where we had a cake (compliments to dear Mom
who sent it along). I got cards in the mail. Phone
calls and texts all day today! The sun was shining
on this beautiful Fall day. Got drinks with friends
after we finished clinical, went biking w/ Mom,
then I babysat/played with four of my most
favorite boys -Caleb, Justin, Levi & Luke. A full day. : )

Lamentations 3:22,23 - His mercies are new every morning, great is his faithfulness!

So long for now.

jeremiah 31:3

2011-11-24T23:46:00.001-05:00

"... the LORD appeared to him from
far away. I have loved you with an
everlasting love; therefore I have
continued my faithfulness to you."

[Thankful SO much for God's everlasting love and faithfulness to me!]

some thoughts, thanksgiving 2011.

2011-11-24T22:57:00.003-05:00

Another year older,
Another year gone by,
Another year is past,
As I think back it seems to have gone fast.

Another year older,
Another year gone by,
Another 365 days to remember,
From November to November.

Another year older,
Another year gone by,
Another family Thanksgiving dinner,
Thankful for Jesus loving me, a sinner.

Another year older,
Another year gone by,
Another bundle of memories to hold in my mind,
And I hope I'll remember them, even when I'm old and blind.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I know things change. Sometimes it seems like everything,
and every one, around me is changing. Things stay the same
sometimes. Sometimes I feel like I'm the same, still. And others
are only changing around me. Am I grown up yet? Am I an
adult? My life seems so similar to how it has been for years.
Living at home on Nona, going to college, working locally part-time,
helping at church here & there, etc. So much seems the same.
Seems mundane sometimes. Like, is this where I'll always be?
I see my siblings who are married, having babies, moving away...

God has changed me though. [I'm thankful for that.]

I know He is changing me still. God is working wondrous things in my heart.
He is preparing me for what lies ahead. I don't know what is 1 month, 7 months,
or 3 years in front of me... & I cannot pretend to know either. I want to truly
be excited as I look forward to life ahead, in 2012 and beyond. Truth be told,
I'm scared, sometimes. I worry. I'm unsure and doubt...

God is SO much bigger than my fears. [I'm thankful for that.]

The life God has planned for me is unfolding already, day by day. I don't
have to wait for life to start at a certain point, or when 'such and such' happens.
I am L I V I N G today! I am on a journey. God, it's hard though. I feel like I am 'behind'
sometimes or like I'm trying to catch up or stay abreast with others. But You
don't call me to that. You call me to Yourself, to follow You, to love You, &
to love others. God, I fail. I fall. I'm a mess at times. I SO easily forget You,
Your promises, Your love. Thank you, Lord, for your F A I T H F U L N E S S to me!

[Help me, Lord, help me.]

Happy Thanksgiving, 2011.

Sipping peppermint tea, Cil

there is no safe investment...

2011-11-03T19:45:00.002-04:00

"There is no safe investment. To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal." ~C.S. Lewis

//Thank you, C.S., for your thoughtful wisdom.

peace out... I'm off to do homework, although I'd much rather be painting or reading or sipping a latte w/ a friend.

a new month!

2011-11-01T11:55:00.002-04:00

With the start of a new month I thought I would share what I am looking forward to this month...

~ My sister and brother-in-law's visit from California Nov 14-22.
~ Celebrating Pj's birthday on Nov 12th... 17 years!
~ Celebrating Daniel's birthday on Nov 30th... 29 years!
~ Celebrating Josh's birthday, turning 27 (I think, on Nov 3rd)!
~ Opa's birthday is Nov 8th... he's turning 79 (?), I'm thankful for him!
~ Thanksgiving - a day to be with family, relax, enjoy a big meal, and some pie!
~ Run the Turkey Trot 10K with some friends - it's a tradition now.
~ A break from nursing school - we get most of Thanksgiving week OFF!
~ Just one month from TODAY is my own b-day... I will be 24 this year, wow!
~ Enjoying more of the Fall season -it's my favorite one.
~ More crisp, cool days to enjoy a good run.
~ Each day is new.

Even in the midst of confusion, heartache, and pain, there IS much to be thankful for, each & every day.

Be blessed in the Lord. -Cil

joyous aunt-hood

2011-10-30T00:59:00.002-04:00

Oh the joys of aunt-hood! My sister Tali and her husby are expecting a wee one in May 2012! This is me and her, Summer 2011. Little did we know what God had in store, in making her a mother just at the perfect time... HE is faithful & His mercies new each morning. I am so looking forward to seeing them soon here in Michigan, and going out to California when baby arrives next Spring! : )

Love you so much, Tali... You are an awesome mom, even already!

not yet a mother, but some day

2011-10-30T00:43:00.003-04:00

I'm a b****, I'm a lover,

I'm a child, I'm a mother,

I'm a sinner, I'm a saint. . .

This song was playing on the radio as I was driving the other day to meet my cousin for dinner. It resonated with me.
Even though I am not yet a mother, I desire to be some day, I am all the rest.

I am messed up. But, still I am loved.

love awaits.

2011-10-12T14:24:00.002-04:00

God has given Brooke Fraser amazing talent in songwriting and singing. Here is her song, Love is Waiting...

Hope it inspires you as it did me.

NAMI

2011-10-02T21:13:00.002-04:00

October 2-8, 2011 is Mental Illness Awareness Week.

Education of the public is important as it decreases stigma & ignorance which are two barriers.

Mental illness affects 1 in 4 families.

To learn more, visit: www.nami.org

all grace, Cilla

Life's journey. . .

2011-10-02T20:51:00.003-04:00

Life is good, in so many ways it is good. At times, life is very, very hard. But, life is still good. This season of life, with many unknowns about the future and many questions about everything. This season is an adventure. I sometimes wonder at life and how intricate we humans are, and yet, how God loves you, me, everyone... Each one is precious. Life is a journey, and it takes many turns and twists along the way. Sometimes we may feel lost, or disillusioned and forget where we are, or who we are. That can be a frightening experience. God promises to never leave us nor forsake us. God sent His Spirit to comfort and guide us in our earthly journey... This is me experiencing life abundantly.

Lake Superior, Michigan's Upper Peninsula, August 2011.

sunset beauty.

2011-09-11T02:00:00.002-04:00

summer 2011, Balsams Resort, Lake Michigan.

Nothing like a sunset in the U.P.

Love, cil

Living like a Martha.

2011-09-11T01:36:00.003-04:00

Luke 10:38-42...

38 As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. 39 She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. 40 But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”
41 “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, 42 but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”

Maybe I have been living like a Martha. I think, yes. I know I have been often living like a Martha... doing things, taking care of details, doing, working, always being busy with something. Martha was worried and upset about taking care of many things and tending to the details. I'm like her. Caught up in so much stuff, instead of sitting at His feet. Where I should be, listening to what He says. I think it is time to be a Mary. To sit at Jesus' feet and listen to what He says.

At work tonight, at the coffee shop, I met these two guys H and W. They were awesome, inspirational. Stopping by for coffee before heading to an all night prayer meeting at a prayer house in the East end of town. They are from Atlanta where they work/minister at IHOP-Atlanta (international house of prayer). Anyway, we talked about church, the Holy Spirit, religion, prayer... they prayed with me before they left (right in the coffee shop). wow!

H shared with me that it seems like I have been living like a Martha. Now it's time to live like a Mary. Just sit at Jesus' feet and listen to what He says. It reminds me of something I heard a missionary to Japan share at our church this past Spring... she shared about a Japanese woman she has been meeting with and talking about Jesus to. The Japanese woman was looking to God for what He could do for her and wondering why her life was falling to pieces, in a way. And the missionary said to her, "you have to love Jesus for Who he is, not for what He can give you."

That has stayed with me these several months, and I hope to remember it for a long, long time. I wrote it in my journal, and made it personal:

"Priscilla, you have to love Jesus for Who he is, not for what He can give you."

Learn to be a Mary. Learn to love Jesus for Who he is. Sit at His feet and listen to what He says...

"My child, I love you!"

about prayer...

2011-08-29T15:52:00.001-04:00

our Lord says,

‘Call to me and I will

answer you and tell

you great and

unsearchable things

you do not know.’

//Jeremiah 33:3

the sting of death

2011-08-27T18:58:00.002-04:00

for some reason i have been thinking about death recently.
i was thinking about how those around me would feel when i die.
would they know i love them as much as i do? would they
remember me and all the good memories we share? or would
they have regrets? would they be OK?

a new friend of mine, and co-worker from the summer,
has lost several of his friends to death in the last few years.
i haven't had a friend die. i have seen many relatives die in
the past many years, but not anyone close to my age. death
is hard, no matter what the age. but, i think it impacts
someone differently if they're close to your age, &
especially if they're close to you emotionally/relationally.

someone died last night. truthfully, m a n y people died last
night. but it was someone i know. well, sort of know. he was
my mom's second cousin. he was young, only 21 or 22. i have
talked to him before. and saw him at Christmas-time. for the
last time. we never naturally think of it in those terms... "this
might be the last time i see him or her." i really feel impacted
by his death. perhaps it's his young age. or the fact that i have
been thinking about death lately... but the truth is, it hurts!

my heart hurts for jk's family... & for his short life, for all the
things he'll miss. and especially for all those who will miss
him. death can come suddenly and it impacts others in,
sometimes, very profound ways. knowing a life has ended,
suddenly, causes my heart to ache inside me...

Lord, be close to the family of jk. wrap Your arms of love
around them. help them as they cry & grieve, for years to come,
the loss of their son, brother, nephew, friend, cousin, grandson...

grant Your peace, o Lord.

this is the sting of death.

summer-time.

2011-08-24T21:36:00.002-04:00

Summer 2011 has been... well, many things.

enjoyable. fun. memorable. adventurous. new.
familiar. joyous. bittersweet. full of changes.
beginnings. endings. gutsy. silly. beautiful.
majestic. rules were broken. educational.
relational. outdoorsy. sunny. smiles. serene.
anxious. full of peace. people. friendships.
wonderful. food. wind. rain. beer. shooting stars.
bonfires. traveling. fudge. coffee. tea. cleaning.
conversations. sailing. sunsets. seagulls. tents.
Jesus. prayer. journaling. baking. family. & more.

I consider myself blessed to have been able to enjoy as
many adventures & pleasantries these past few months,
as I have. God is good. And I am thankful!

Hopefully over the next few weeks/months I can share
some stories about some of my adventures this summer...

Tomorrow begins the new school year (my last year of nursing school!),
so for now, goodnight. ~cil

31 years!

2011-08-23T16:03:00.002-04:00

God has been gracious. . .

Today, August 23, 2011, my parents are celebrating 31 years of married life together!

Happy Anniversary Dad & Mom! I love you.

"the Lord has done GREAT things for us, and we are filled with JOY!"

It is exciting to anticipate the next 31 years. . . and all that the future holds for us.

thankful for this day, Cil

empower, be empowered.

2011-08-22T23:56:00.001-04:00

this is something to consider:

All-New Spread Campaign from Light Gives Heat on Vimeo.

joyous reunion

2011-08-19T22:54:00.002-04:00

Today, Cheyne and I were reunited after 7 months apart.

She is my dear friend who was in Africa for 6 months serving
at TLC orphanage, caring for the sweet babies and toddlers.

When she returned to the States in July I was away at my summer job in the U.P. until 2 days ago.

So, getting to see her today was good, emotional, bittersweet...

When we embraced, at our favorite spot in royal oak (goldfish tea),
we both seemed to get teary eyed. She shared stories, photographs,
her heart, her aches, her joys, her self. I listened.

I was thinking about my time in Africa. 4 years ago, being there, how it
changed me. Wishing I could have gone back this summer. Memories and
pictures floating through my conscious mind...

we sipped our tea, chai rooibos. sitting in the comfort of the couch we shared.

Seeing her again in the place I said goodbye back in January was surreal.
Thankful my friend has gone and returned again, and for all that she has learned.

God has done great things.

Day 3 - July 4

2011-07-04T08:59:00.004-04:00

Last night, for dinner, I had my first ever pastie (a pastie is a large to medium sized "pie" filled with meat and potatoes.) with "yupper gravy" (aka ketchup). Mine had beef, potatoes, & rutabaga in it. Bob and Sue picked it up for me from Lehto's (best pasties in town...so far). Well, I have to say, it was delicious! Definitely hearty. A pastie is a staple meal here in the U.P.

I was able to get to church yesterday morning, with Bob and Sue. Weather was gorgeous all day. After some cleaning (2 motel rooms and 1 cabin), headed over to the beach. more reading and sunning...

July 4th. Fireworks enjoyed from harbor downtown St. Ignace. prior to the show we had gone out for pizza and drink at B.C.'s Pizza - "best in town". chose bbq chicken; yum. walked along state st. downtown. talking.

home to bed then, almost midnight. tired, and wanting to be ready for a new day in the morning...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

to bed I go, now it is July 6. FULL day of cleaning past two days. did manage to get a swim in this afternoon, that's my shower for the day. g'night world.

Love from, Michigan's U.P., Cil

Day 1 - July 2

2011-07-02T21:49:00.002-04:00

Awoke this morning at just before 5. Dressed, made bed, packed my little coolers, & finished loading my car. Excited. At the same time feeling... contemplative. Woke Dad and Mom to hug and say goodbyes. Had hugged little sister, Prom, night before. Then, I started up "Nelly", backed out our long drive, and... drove off into the early morning dark. It was 5:25.

Today was the day I departed for my "up north adventure" (I'm working at Balsams Resort - cabins & motels, which my uncle and aunt co-own and have hired me to do cleaning and guest assistance for 6 weeks this summer). So, I drove... W on I-96, to US-23 N, then followed I-75 N the rest of the way... encountered a stunningly beautiful sunrise on my drive. Set cruise control and drove on. Stopped for gasoline and coffee... and, a sugary donut. As I got further north I got more excited... and more enthralled with the nature around me. I have to say, every time I head to the west side of MI or up to northern MI I am reminded how gorgeous and varied this state is. Thankful to be alive & well. Before I knew it, I was... approaching the Mackinac Bridge - the gateway to the U.P.!

Crossing the bridge was, in a sense, like crossing into a new world. Welcome to: Michigan's Upper Peninsula (the sign read). Paid the bridge toll ($3.50 for a car) and was on my way. Got on West US 2 and took that a few miles and within a few minutes I was at Balsams! Pulled in near 10:35 am. Great timing. Got stuff carried in, talked with Bob, Sue, and met Christian. And, was promptly put to work... cleaning 2 cabins with Sue, then 2 motel rooms with Christian. Finding my way around and learning how to do things here. 3.5 hours later, hungry for lunch, we got Subway : ).

Afternoon spent on the beach. Reading and sunning. Windy, refreshing... wrapped in my towel, the breeze was chilly. (mental note: bring a sweater to the beach next time.) Little waves splashing along the shore. wave runners. watching people have fun. Read more from Ann Voskamp's One Thousand Gifts. Such an honest heart, she shares her thoughts and journey of life with you, the reader. Tired from waking early, so napped a little in the suns rays and under the comfort of my towel.

Back in the house I got my things moved in and settled in, made bed, hung clothes in closet, etc. Leftover sub for dinner and a cold one (pale ale) on the swing in the sun, breeze gently blowing. Sunglasses on, bright sun. In the mood for some chocolate chip cookies. Raids the kitchen for baking supplies... have everything except brown sugar and semi-sweet chocolate chips. Grocery store run to Glen's, just down the road a few miles. Beautiful setting sun on my way back... how is it that I get to see a lovely sunrise AND sunset, IN ONE DAY? Another sign that God is with me. Whipped up the ingredients, baked for just the right amount of time... and, now as I write... I have been enjoying warm goodness, with cold milk. Meanwhile, can see the last effects of the sunset over the water... just barely orangey. Mmm, thankful for life.

Off to dream-land, soon...

stay tuned for more stories. night for now, Cil

reading in bed...

2011-06-29T22:39:00.002-04:00

Sometimes I know I don't take time to recall things I am thankful for, cause I'm too busy thinking about the things I don't have or didn't get done today... there is SO much to be thankful for... each day.

today i'm thankful to our Lord for:

1. sleeping in
2. reading in bed for a few hrs
3. going for an afternoon run in the sun
4. some hang out time with Promise
5. pizza dinner with friends
6. hot rooibos tea
7. taking the dog (i'm dog-sitting this week) for a walk
8. breath in my lungs
9. NPR
10. fireflies
11. clean drinking water
12. prayer time in bed this morning
13. green plants to water

the list could go on...

what are you thankful for today?

goodnight, Cil

sorrow.

2011-06-28T17:48:00.004-04:00

"My attitude as a saint to sorrow and difficulty is not to ask that they may be prevented, but to ask that I may preserve the self God created me to be through every fire of sorrow. Our Lord received Himself in the fire of sorrow, He was saved not from the hour, but out of the hour.

We say that there ought to be no sorrow, but there is sorrow, and we have to receive ourselves in its fires."

--My Utmost For His Highest, Oswald Chambers, June 25th.

He makes my soul cheery.

2011-06-10T12:54:00.001-04:00

"When the cares of my heart are many,

Your consolations cheer my soul."

~psalm 94:19

we are dust...

2011-06-06T16:08:00.002-04:00

For he knows our frame;
he remembers that we are dust.
-psalm 103:14

I am thankful God understands where I'm coming from.
He knows me better than I know myself.
He knows I am weak; he knows all my downfalls.
God knows I am small & imperfect.

And yet, He LOVES me just the same.

//Cil

LGH.

2011-06-06T16:06:00.000-04:00

'Moving On' Official Trailer from Light Gives Heat on Vimeo.

when the wind blows hard.

2011-05-27T23:14:00.001-04:00

"Let us not be surprised when we have to face difficulties.

When the wind blows hard on a tree, the roots stretch and

grow the stronger, Let it be so with us. Let us not be

weaklings, yielding to every wind that blows, but strong

in spirit to resist."

~Amy Carmichael

I am a piece of work.

2011-05-26T22:15:00.000-04:00

"I am not what I ought to be.
I am not what I want to be.
I am not what I hope to be.
But still, I am not what I used to be.
And by the grace of God, I am what I am."

-John Newton

Jesus has spoken. . .

2011-05-26T21:24:00.001-04:00

"I have told you these things,

so that in me you may have peace.

In this world you will have trouble.

But take heart!

I have overcome the world."

-John 16:33

what is happiness based on?

2011-05-25T18:32:00.000-04:00

Never, in peace or war, commit your virtue or happiness to the future ~C.S. Lewis

secure upon my Rock.

2011-05-25T00:24:00.002-04:00

You drew me up out of the BOG &
set my feet upon a ROCK, making
my steps SECURE.

You put a NEW song in my mouth,
a PRAISE song to our God! & many
will see and fear & place their
TRUST in God.

You, O Lord, have multiplied
your WONDROUS deeds & your
thoughts toward us; NONE
can compare with YOU! I will
proclaim them, yet there are
so many to tell.

~psalm 40:1-3 & 5 (paraphrased)

promise.

2011-05-17T22:01:00.000-04:00

"God's way is perfect. ALL the Lord's promises prove TRUE. He is a SHIELD for ALL who look to Him for protection" {2 Sam. 22:31}

Why did you decide to do...?

2011-04-30T14:54:00.002-04:00

Why do I want to do nursing? I chose to do nursing because I love people and helping care for them. After I graduated high school I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do. So I traveled down to South Africa and volunteered at an orphanage for six months where I cared for and loved on 60 babies. Many of them were sick with various illnesses periodically or had ongoing illness secondary to being HIV+. I loved the time I spent there and the work I was doing. I was 19 and this whole experience rocked my world. I’d thought about doing nursing, but it was through my time in Africa that was a big deciding factor. I have hopes of returning to Africa when I am an RN, either short term or long term to help at clinics, disaster relief, and more. I also would like to work in a hosp or clinic here in the States, maybe with Psych patients as I have a special place in my heart for the mentally ill population. Only God knows what life holds down the road in life.

I also chose nursing because it is a profession that is really useful in many areas of life and it is versatile. I’d like to marry and have a family someday and knew I wanted a profession that is flexible. I can use my skills with my own children (someday) and work in numerous settings (clinic, hospital, home care, rehab, etc). It’s exciting to know there are so many areas I could potentially work in. In the future I’d like to consider pursuing a Masters degree to be a nurse midwife. I’m not in this for the money, but to be able to help people and to serve God through serving others and providing the best care possible!

I realize this is a profession that can be physically tiring and emotionally taxing, so it is important to maintain a balanced life. Even now I try to get good sleep, eat well, get out to run, etc. As a nurse I will face trauma, death, sorrow, pain. But there is also help, healing, and hope. I want to be there to offer hope to my patients and care for their whole person. I know I have a LOT to learn still, but I am on this journey and will continue to learn and develop who I am and how I can be an excellent nurse.

//This was written for a school assignment, but I enjoyed thinking about this and writing it down, so I would like to share it.

on the discipline of solitude. . .

2011-04-21T18:49:00.004-04:00

Settle yourself in solitude and you will come upon Him in yourself. --Teresa of Avila

" Jesus calls us from loneliness to solitude. The fear of being left alone petrifies people. A new child in the neighborhood sobs to her mother, "No one ever plays with me." A college freshman yearns for his high school days when he was the center of attention: "Now, I'm a nobody." A business executive sits dejected in her office, powerful, yet alone. An old woman lies in a nursing home waiting to go "Home".

Our fear of being alone drives us to noise and crowds. We keep up a constant stream of words even if they are inane. We buy radios that strap to our wrists or fit over our ears so that, if no one else is around, at least we are not condemned to silence. T. S. Eliot analyzes our culture well when he writes, "Where shall the world be found, where will the word resound? Not here, there is not enough silence."

But loneliness or clatter are not our only alternatives. We can cultivate an inner solitude and silence that sets us free from loneliness and fear. Loneliness is inner emptiness. Solitude is inner fulfillment.

Solitude is more a state of mind and heart than it is a place. "

--Richard J. Foster, Celebration of Discipline: The path to spiritual growth.

STILL.

2011-03-18T15:39:00.002-04:00

Be STILL, and know that I am God. //Psalm 46:10

I don't think that I sit still very long. Ever. It's hard to.
My mind is often found running on overdrive much of the time.
Not only my mind, but also my body. I am often busy...school, work, running.

God says, "Be still"... "know that I am God". He is my God. He is my Abba Father!
How long do I take to sit and let those words soak into me... saturate my mind?
Rarely do I sit & BE STILL.

And, "being still" doesn't mean having to sit still, but having a mind that is "still", a mind that is resting, truly resting, in God. And a heart too, that is resting in Him. His power, his love, his peace, his wisdom, & his companionship.

Lord, help me to REST in YOU. In who you are... I want to be still before you, even amidst my busyness.

Love you Jesus!

23 things...

2011-03-08T15:46:00.008-05:00

I was inspired by one of my sisters to make a list of things to do during this year of life. I'm 23. So, my list is 23 things to do while I'm 23.

23:

1. own a car --> 2/7/11 i owned nelly!
2. go back to Africa
3. visit my new Niece (& family) in Virginia --> road trip 4/8-4/12
4. run a marathon --> trail marathon in 5:31 on may 1st!
5. go snowmobiling --> 2/26 at the Reebs cottage
6. go hiking in the U.P. (Michigan) --> Hiawatha nat'l forest hikes, cut river gorge, black river trail!
7. learn to drive a stick-shift
8. get my nose pierced (with a little hoop)
9. finish my first year of nursing school --> 5/5/11 finished finals
10. start my second year of nursing school
11. take a road trip in my car (nelly) --> 5/28-6/3 road trip to Chattanooga, TN & 8/13-8/17 road trip home through WI, IL, IN to get back to MI
12. go camping at a MI state park --> 6/10-6/12 went camping in Muskegon with OPC college group
13. get dreads (?!)
14. spend a day on Mackinac Island (bike around it) --> july 26, 2011 spent the day and biked around, all 8 miles!
15. go skydiving or parasailing
16. share the Love of Christ with someone --> at balsams
17. run the "freep" with Jess (registered for it!) -->
18. continue working through heartaches and let the balm of Jesus heal me
19. get a tattoo (?)
20. go 23 days w/o washing my hair
21. spend a day in silence
22. fast & pray
23. get a job in hospital / nursing home

C.G.W.

2011-03-01T20:24:00.001-05:00

Charis, you are a close companion,
you are a great cook, you are a woman of character,
you are caring toward others and you are concerned for what is right,
Charis, you are creative and contentedly cheerful,
You are careful about big decisions you make,
but you are also carefree at times.
Charis you love chocolate, and enjoy a good cuppa coffee.
You are compassionate and courageous,
You love children and will be a wonderful mom someday.
Throughout your life, you have always taken time to carefully consider
God's calling on your life. Charis you have chosen to set your heart
on Christ and have chosen to follow Him first and foremost.
Charis, you are God's child, carefully created by His power, God loves you
and has crafted a unique plan for your life.

Greg, you are a great guy, a true man of God,
I am thankful to welcome you into our family.
As I've gotten to know you I have observed that you are goofy,
you are genuine, and you give gladly to others.
Greg, you are generous, with your time and resources.
You are growing each day, growing into who God has made you to be.
Greg, I see how you seek God's guidance in each decision you make
and how you desire to give God the glory in all you do.

This day, with you both clothed in white, as I and me, turns to we,
I have some blessings for the new Mr & Mrs Weigler!
To you both, I pray you will always welcome whoever and whatever God sends
into your life. May you, together, be winsome and wise in what you do.
I pray that you will allow God to weave your lives together, as He guides your way in this world. May God bless your work, heal your wounds, and may you feel His comfort in seasons of weakness.
Rise up on eagle's wings and soar, as you wait on the Lord and walk each day, hand in hand, worshiping Him.
Love is winning!

~ I love you.

mumblejumble.

2010-11-30T22:06:00.002-05:00

inside my head, is just a big mess of thoughts.
i have not a clue about how to get it all out.
but i will make an attempt here.

i have been feeling blah about my walk with Jesus.
i mean, i know i love Him, but i've felt much like
i;m going through the motions more then really living it out.
my mind and body have been moving in my walk with Him,
but my heart has been elsewhere.

Wanting to love Jesus and live for Him is different then
really loving Him and living for Him.
I'm frustrated because I want to want to live for him, but
is going through the motions really living for him?
If it's not authentic and genuine then what is the point?

i am so broken. i am broken before God. I am his piece of work.

my dear friend reminded me tonight that God loves.
even in my brokenness - God still loves me and thinks I'm beautiful.
HE LOVES ME NO MATTER WHAT!

so, for now i'm trying to let that resonate and sink in my mind and heart.

I don't want to go through the motions anymore.
i want this walk with Jesus to be genuine.
I'm gonna stop trying to pull myself together
or place blame or shame on myself when I think I should share
the gospel and don't or when i feel like i'm a failure.
i want to stop putting so much pressure on myself.

I just want to bask and rest in God's great love for me.
Lord, pursue my heart. I need you.
in due time, I will feel compelled to share Christ with genuineness.

//Lord Jesus, come quickly.

peace&joy, Cil

p.s. tomorrow is my 23rd birthday!!!
I'm growing old gracefully ;)

little visits.

2010-10-16T21:41:00.001-04:00

my heart is thankful when I ponder my times with my life-long friend Hannah. She's a dear sister in Christ and has been a friend and support to me since I was 5 yrs old. this year we both turn 23! i love her. alot!

a pinch of courage

2010-10-16T21:15:00.004-04:00

“Courage, dear friend” encourages Charles Spurgeon, “The Lord,

the ever-merciful, has appointed every moment of

sorrow and pang of suffering. If He ordains the number

ten, it can never rise to eleven, nor should you

desire that it shrink to nine”

(emphasis added).

//found this quote on girltalk blog:

http://www.girltalkhome.com/blog

have a blessed evening!

love&joy, Cil

hello God.

2010-10-12T20:34:00.002-04:00

Dear Abba Father,

i need Your help.
i'm feeling weak right now.
alone, sometimes.
i am in this storm & need Your help.

Lord, i'm confused about what you're doing & how You're in the midst
of this (what I see as a mess!).

//Ezekial 14:14

Lord, I know You're for me, not against me.
I know you're over me and all around me.

I love you Lord.
even in this... storm.

//peace, cil

day by day by day.

2010-09-29T14:02:00.002-04:00

Life is a precious gift they say.
Somehow it doesn't always seem that way though.

Like when grandma dies.
When you have a miscarriage.
Or when your husband loses his job.
Or when your little sister hurts so much and doesn't even know it.

Life is lived in the present, not in the past or future.
Only in the present.

We live day by day by day by day.
One day at a time, moment by moment.
Sometimes days drag on & on.
Others we wish would last forever!

Sometimes when I wake up in the morning I am greeted by a weight of worry or anxiety.
This is when I'm trying to live in my own strength.
Other times I rise with my hand in His.
Trusting in my Savior, relying on His strength.

So as I go through life, day by day,
I am reminded to rest in Him.
Place my hand in His and begin taking another step.

Jesus came to give us an ABUNDANT LIFE! //John 10:10
So we can rise each day, though very HARD at times,
and have a peace which passes ALL understanding (even when our world
seems like the bottom is falling out)!

//The following quote is a good reminder about how we can serve our Father even in doing the smallest tasks in life:

"I tend to think of serving God in terms of grand, heroic acts -- but serving Him daily, in all the everyday and trivial events of my life, actually requires far more discipline and commitment. Something as ordinary as doing the laundry or cleaning a bathroom can lead my heart to God, so long as I offer everything I do up to Him." -Elizabeth Prentiss

//love&peace to you through Him, Cil

TLC 2007

2010-08-28T23:34:00.002-04:00

Oh the memories that flood my mind.

Sweet memories.

trip with my sister.

2010-08-21T21:02:00.003-04:00

Went to Florida for the first time back in June. My little sister PJ and I went with a bunch of our relatives on the Jones side. What a good week we had. Lots of delicious food. Many walks & bike rides on the trails. Fun movie nights with the cousins. Morning sunrise. Coffee on the porch. Swimming every day at the pool & the beach. To the town of Seaside for breakfast outing. Time with God. I'm thankful for the week we spent there!

This is PJ and I the last day at the beach.

Psalm 116:12 // How can I repay the LORD for all his goodness to me?

rolling questions.

2010-08-21T21:01:00.000-04:00

Life keeps on rolling
whether I like it or not
sometimes
i do
sometimes
i do not.

you know that feeling you get
when something/one
in your life
is hurting
and your heart
aches
for them.

my heart
hurts
sometimes
for many
different
reasons.

heart.

there is so much to it
so many intricate
parts
and passages
so many areas of life
effect
our hearts.

my heart
aches
for you
and you don't even seem to
understand
sometimes you just ignore
me
but i will not give up
on you
you are
just way
too
precious
to me.

I pray for you
and cry
for you
and wonder
what is
HE doing
sometimes i get
so upset
because
i want to know
why this is happening
to you
to me
to us.

worry and fear
are not strangers
to me
though I wish
they were
and I
would not be bothered by them
so much.

Lord, even though
this present circumstance
does not make
sense to me
I KNOW you hold
all things together
somehow, someway
this makes sense to
You.

Continue to
grant us hope
Lord.

Love Never Fails.

2010-07-07T23:25:00.004-04:00

Love is not proud.

Love matters the most.

Love will not cease at the end of time.

Love is the Arms that are holding you,

Love never fails you!

//thank you Lord for YOUR LOVE.

The Sh'ma!

2010-04-19T12:22:00.003-04:00

Sh'ma Yisael!
Adonai Eloheinu, Adonai echad
Vey'havta et Adonai Elo'hecha
Be'chol lava'cha
Uve'chol nav'shacha
Uve'chol meyo'dacha
Vey'havta rayacha kamocha.

Hear O Israel!
The Lord our God the Lord is one.
Love the Lord your God with all of your heart,
with all of your soul,
with all of your strength.
Love you neighbor as yourself.

//Here at FLI we recite this as a class every Monday morning. It is awesome to know it now by heart. I want to always hide His Truth in my heart and live it out daily.

Garden of the Gods

2010-03-23T02:30:00.002-04:00

Psalm 19.
"The heavens declare the glory of God,
and the sky proclaims his handiwork.
Day to day pours out speech,
and night to night reveals knowledge.
There is no speech,
nor are their words,
whose voice is not heard..."

Hupotasso - Submit

2010-03-03T15:16:00.003-05:00

EVERY MORNING we need to wake up and ask ourselves:

Am I going to choose to become

more SELFISH or

more CHRIST-LIKE

today?

//We must continually submit ourselves to Christ, let Him have His way in us.

//I want to LOVE as Christ loves.

AND when I get married...
I want to love for better or for worse, in sickness and in health. FOREVER!

"Submit to one another out of reverance for Christ." Ephesians 5:21

"The spirit-filled Christian is a submissive Christian." -Charles Swindoll

AGAPE LOVE

2010-03-03T15:11:00.002-05:00

Agape Love - 5 aspects of it:

*Unconditional

*Expects nothing in return

*Is an act of the will

*Meets a need

*Costs you something!

Lord, help me to have more agape love in my life.

Cool video of the FLI guys!

2010-03-03T15:07:00.002-05:00

This was shown to us on Valentine's Day after the Evening of Elegance dinner the guys prepared for us. They're so fun!
Thanks guys, you're awesome!

News from the Springs!

2010-02-19T15:05:00.001-05:00

Salutations from Colorado Springs!

A month has passed already since I arrived here in the Springs. The past few
weeks have been FULL of many new experiences and meeting/getting to know
the 53 other students and the staff. The first week was time for
orientation and that weekend we all went on a retreat up in the
mountains to Horn Creek where we spent time doing team-building
activities, playing games, and really just spending time getting to
know each other better.

Jan 25th we began our first week of classes. We have 4 classes and
they each meet one day a week. Our classes are: Christian Worldview
Studies on Mondays, Marriage & Family Studies on Tuesdays, Family,
Church, & Society on Wednesdays, and Gender & Leadership Studies on
Thursdays. We have reading assignments for each class and it usually
averages out to reading 60 - 140 pages a night! So, needless to say we
have a lot of information being thrown at us at once. Someone said
it's like trying to take a sip of water from a fire hydrant! And it
truly is. I think all of this great information will take years to
sink into my mind. :) We also each have an internship where we spend
about 8-10 hrs/week. Mine is downtown Colorado Springs at a ministry
to homeless & unemployed folks. I ride down there with Laura (another
student here) Mon - Thurs afternoons until 3pm. My tasks have been to
work at the front counter where clients come in. I greet them and ask
what help they need and then I look up their file on the computer or
create a new file if they're a new client. We help them with food,
clothing, meds, rent/utility assistance, help finding jobs, and budget
classes, etc. I have also been working with the nurse a couple days
and have been able to sit in with her when she meets with clients.

On the weekends I have gone on some really beautiful hiking trips,
bike rides through the city, and other little excursions. A lot of
times there is an apartment having a movie night or game night. One
Saturday night recently one of the apartments hosted a coffee
house/concert night where two students played/sang some songs they had
both written. On Valentine's Day the young men planned a wonderful
evening of elegance with dinner, dessert, and entertainment. There is
rarely a lack of fun things to do around here! I am thankful for the
community I can be a part of, it has been a really neat aspect of my
time here. And I love my 3 roommates! Janelle is in a room with me and
then Kayla & Haleigh share the other room. They are all from the South
so that has been a bit of culture shock in some ways, but we all get
along well and have had so much fun together! I am learning how to
rely on the people around me and not be afraid to really "spill my
beans", be vulnerable, and experience authentic community. We often
host another apartment for dinner on Wednesday nights or for
breakfast... or hot cocoa at 11:30pm after a great big snowball fight!
Our apartment has kind of become a common hang out spot for many of
the students. By the way, the mountains are BREATHTAKINGLY AWESOME!

Thank you for your prayers and for taking the time to read this long
little update. AND, thank you to all of you who have supported me in
coming here (you know who you are!), I could not be in this amazing
place without your help. Before I go I wanted to share some bible
passages with y'all:

"If my people who are called by my name humble themselves, and pray
and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear
from heaven and forgive their sin
and heal their land." 2 Chronicles 7:14

AND

"But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a
people for His own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies
of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light. Once
you were not a people, but now you are God's people; once you had not
received mercy, but now you have received mercy." 1 Peter 2:9-10

Peace & Love, Cilla

I'm out in Colorado!

2010-01-27T01:08:00.003-05:00

Here are the lovely lassies of FLI Spring 2010 Semester @ Horn Creek Retreat!

The Time Is Now

2010-01-01T15:21:00.002-05:00

This is a beautiful worship song by Phil Wickham with great lyrics and amazing musical talent. It speaks of the need to decide, to make a choice and prepare for the battle we are in as Christians... The time is now for lifting souls, the time is now to take a stand, it's time to place our heart in better Hands... we need to let light and love come rushing through the door!
//Click on the link and ENJOY!!

happy new year!

2010-01-01T15:00:00.002-05:00

10 Resolutions for 2010:

1. Read my bible in the mornings.

2. Spend time in prayer each morning & throughout the day. Be more faithful in praying for my family, relatives, friends, missionaries, co-workers, and others God lays on my heart.

3. Seek out opportunities to encourage the people in my life. Build up, don't tear down.

4. Use my musical talent for God's glory, share my violin-playing abilities in new ways.

5. Wait on God each day. Don't worry as much. "Be still and know that I am God." Psalm 46:10

6. Try new things: skiing, etc.

7. Revel in who God has created me to be. Don't try to be someone else. There is only one me and I can glorify God most when I am who he wants me to be and use the gifts and talents he has blessed me with.

8. Trust God's will as Mike and I continue to get to know each other and date (with a purpose).

9. Spend time with Promise regularly.

10. Choose Joy in the Lord each day in 2010!

Psalm 27:4-7
"One thing I ask of the LORD,
this is what I seek:
that I may dwell in the house of the LORD
all the days of my life,
to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD
and to seek him in his temple.
For in the day of trouble
he will keep me safe in his dwelling;
he will hide me in the shelter of his tabernacle
and set me high upon a rock.
Then my head will be exalted
above the enemies who surround me;
at his tabernacle will I sacrifice with shouts of joy;
I will sing and make music to the LORD.
Hear my voice when I call, O LORD;
be merciful to me and answer me."

2009-12-29T01:45:00.002-05:00

Christmas morning my family and I. for the past four years, wake up around 5am and head to Life Challenge. When we arrive we meet up with a few other families and we begin preparing a big Christmas breakfast for the men & women who are in the program at LC. We cook eggs, hash browns, french toast, and there's always yummy cookies too. When they come in to eat at about 8 we serve them and spend time with them. My older sister Charis and I played music for them to listen to and singalong to as well. After we finished eating and cleaned up we moved over to the little chapel (attached to the dining hall) and played, sang, & worshiped our Savior and Lord in song... Many of the students there got out their guitars, drums, saxophone, etc. and we jammed together for almost 2 hrs. It was a truly joyous time as we raised our hands and praised God, our Maker!
Following are a few photos from the morning:

I feel SOOO blessed to have this opportunity each year on Christmas. Thanks LORD!

2009-12-24T21:26:00.002-05:00

In October Mike and I were kind of set up through a family from my church. We met on the first Sunday of October. He took me a Tigers baseball game and to lunch at a Mexican place downtown. We talked later that week and began seeing each other quite regularly after that. A few weeks ago we talked about where we're at and decided to officially begin a relationship. So, we are getting to know each other more and praying for God to guide our steps as we move forward. This photo was taken a couple weeks ago when he took me out for my 22nd birthday :)

2009-12-24T21:19:00.002-05:00

Last week we had our church youth group over for a Christmas party! We enjoyed a delicious potluck meal, had fun with a white-elephant gift exchange, and we went caroling in the neighborhood. Here are some photos of us :) I have been helping lead the group for the past couple years and have thoroughly enjoyed spending time getting to know all of the youth and planning fun activities for them. I will miss them, and my small group girls, when I go to Colorado next semester.

2009-12-24T20:58:00.002-05:00

As I sit here Christmas Eve and think about the past year and past Christmases... so many memories fill my mind. I think about the time when we were little and the car broke down on the way to Grandpa & Grandma Jones' house. And the days when we would celebrate Christmas Day at Opa & Oma's with the French cousins. I also remember playing Christmas carols with Mrs. Reiter and 35 other violin students on Christmas Eve at Sacred Heart and Brady First Pres. I remember coming upstairs to the tree on Christmas morning and seeing what gifts there were. We would read the story of Jesus' birth from Luke 2. Dad would make the best breakfast of Sausage Souffle. We would go around the room youngest to oldest or in order of birthday months and take turns opening gifts. It was always a joyous time together. Four years ago we began getting up really early on Christmas morning to go cook & serve breakfast at Life Challenge (a nearby Bible-based ministry to men and women recovering/overcoming drug addictions of various kinds). We also play songs for them to singalong with. It is a blessing to them and to us as well to be able to share Christmas Day with these men and women. So, as I reminisce on Christmases past... I also think about how much life has changed in the past several years, even this past year. We will continue to grow and change as each year passes. Life is often very different then we might expect or plan for. I know that God is in control of my life and He has a beautiful plan that is unfolding daily. I am sometimes surprised by what a day brings. I am so thankful God is Lord of my life and I can entrust my life and all of my days to Him and His will. I know His will is perfect, and living in that reality gives me peace.

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL! With love, Priscilla

But the angel said to them, "Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger." -Luke 2:10-12

2009-12-16T17:50:00.002-05:00

"Be still, and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth."
Psalm 46:10

2009-12-16T17:45:00.002-05:00

My dear friend Priscila took me to out for breakfast at Coney Island for my 22nd birthday. She's a huge blessing in my life!
Love you Pris.

Next 2010.

2009-12-16T17:39:00.001-05:00

Check out Joshua Harris's upcoming Next conference in May 2010.

2009-12-13T18:18:00.002-05:00

"The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty One who will save;
He will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by His love; he will exult over you with loud singing." --Zephaniah 3:17

"Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus." --Philippians 4:4-7

"For the Son of Man came to seek and save the lost." --Luke 19:10

"Take care lest you forget the LORD your God by not keeping his commandments and his rules and his statutes, which I command you today..." --Deuteronomy 8:11

"For you are a people holy to the LORD your God. The LORD your God has chosen you to be a people for his treasured possession, out of all the peoples who are on the face of the earth. It was not because you were more in number than any other people that the LORD set his love on you and chose you, for you were the fewest of all peoples, but it is because the LORD loves you and is keeping the oath that he swore to your fathers, that the LORD has brought you out with a mighty hand and redeemed you from the house of slavery, from the hand of Pharaoh king of Egypt." --Deuteronomy 7:6-8

Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from God... //Deuteronomy 8:3

be thankful. 2009.

2009-11-27T13:39:00.002-05:00

Thanksgiving!

Psalm 69:30
I will praise the name of God with a song; I will magnify him with thanksgiving.

Psalm 100:4
Enter His gates with thanksgiving, and his courts with praise! Give thanks to him; bless his name!

Psalm 147:7
Sing to the Lord with thanksgiving; make melody to our God on the lyre!

Yesterday, as my family and I shared our thanksgiving feast and spent the day together, I was thinking about so many things. I was reminded of the MANY blessings in my life and the many things I have to be thankful for. God, in His sweet mercy, as granted me forgiveness from my sins and brought me to Himself. Through Christ's death and resurrection I have been made new. Indeed, I am a NEW creation. So, that is the the pinnacle of what I am thankful for. . . and there are hundreds of other things as well. . .
I am also thankful for:

my family
dear friends
blue skies
the color green
TOMS shoes
music
apples
cake
teachers
my violin
my Dad & Mom
God's Holy Word
church (ohcc)
HKW
my 3 sisters
my big brother
Africa
the sunshine
peanut butter
water
tents
forgiveness through Christ
Nona st.
my community
libraries
paper
pens
phones
warm blankets
snow
the beach
sand
mountains
rooibos tea
sleep
love
peace
running
walking
climbing
good health
my sister-in-law
the radio
working hard
films
my brother-in-law
photography
big cities
living life
farmland
brainstorming
the Gospel
JOY
my jobs
exploring
homemaking
volunteering
God's mercy
soldiers
traveling
pilots
doctors
nurses
books
hearing
sight
colors
goals
cooking
life dreams
Hope
bicycles
baking
banana bread
dirt
challenges
rain
learning
thunderstorms
rainbows
chocolate
Grandparents
camp
S.clapham
ASW
cousins
aunts
uncles
vehicles
sunrise
autumn
stars
boat rides
hot showers
the wind
mountain tops
solitude
silence
laughter
the Truth
freedom
smiles
heaven
a fresh start
&
the list could continue.

Think about what you're thankful for today.

Photoshoot!

2009-10-28T00:49:00.003-04:00

I had the priviledge of taking Cheyne's senior pictures. Cheyne is a gal from my church who is in 12th grade this year and asked me to be her photographer... I was honored and excited to be asked! We went to the Henry Ford Estate last Sunday... it was a beautiful Autumn day, perfect weather for a photoshoot & and the colors on the trees were lovely!
Here are just a few of the photos we got... Enjoy :)

God is good!

2009-10-28T00:17:00.003-04:00

About 11 months ago my Dad was let go from his job.
He had had that job since I was a baby, so for 20 yrs.
It was my 21st birthday in fact the day he was let go.
This news was hard. I was in shock when my Dad told me.
I still remember where I was when he informed me.
It was a Monday evening, Dec 1st, and I was upstairs at the computer.
I was looking forward to going out to dinner that night for my birthday.
Then Dad came in and said "well, I have something to share with you...
today I lost my job."
I didn't know what to think or say. I sat on his lap & cried.

My Dad and Mom, by God's strength & grace alone, responded amazingly in this situation.
They have been such a testimony to me of having faith in God during tough/trying times.
And trusting in God, even when life hurts.
God really worked in this situation.
I have seen Him strengthening my faith and helping me to understand
what it means to trust God even when my circumstances are hard. I believe He is working through these hard times... His plan is perfect!
Even though it often does not make sense to us, His plan is for our ultimate good. He takes delight in us and wants good things for us. We have to always remember that truth.
HE has been providing abundantly for our needs. As a family, we have seen Him provide for us in unique ways.
Dad has been working in his own home office launching/expanding his own business.
We have been able to spend time together during lunch time or other times that used to not be possible because he would be at work all day.
Many other blessings have arisen in little and big ways through this period of life.

It hit me this morning when I woke up... I cried.... tears of joy, thankfulness, sadness, & happiness all at once. I got down and prayed, thanking my heavenly Father for the parents He has given me and how they have loved me, cared for me, and especially as I thought about this whole situation I thanked the Lord for how much I have learned from my parents in how they have responded to this big life change. What a testimony of God in their life, and mine as well.

God is good. He is faithful to meet our needs and give us our daily bread.

Thank you Dad & Mom... I LOVE YOU!
And thank you Lord for showing Yourself to me through my parents.

"Your love, O LORD, reaches to the heavens, your faithfulness to the skies." Psalm 36:5

Visit Chicago for just $60

2009-05-21T02:04:00.005-04:00

I did!! and you can too!! :)

Over spring break (the first week of March) I planned to visit my friend Annie who recently had moved to Chicago and was living in an apartment with two other gals.
I wanted to go but my goal was to spend next to nothing. So, this is how I spent 3.5 days in Chicago for only $59.50

Transportation to/from Chicago: bus ride from detroit to chicago - $2.50 (no joke!)
I like using Megabus - check it out at www.megabus.com
They generally have SUPER cheap tickets if you look far enough in advance, if not you can still find good deals!
Getting around while in the city: bought a couple day passes - $11.50
Housing: of course I was able to stay with my friends(Annie & her roomies) - FREE
So, try to hook up with a friend or even a friend-of-a-friend...it's always funner this way too. :)
Food: Be creative! I packed a sack lunch to eat on my bus ride there. Then I just shared/mooched off the girls' food ( I pitched some $ in though). :) breakfast: we made waffles & eggs one morning, another morning we had yogurt & granola, or a banana w/ peanut butter. lunch: I bought a sandwich and juice at a cafe, or a smoothie. one day we just had DQ blizzards! dinners: we cooked @ home: spaghetti, etc. Bought an inexpensive breakfast & lunch on my bus ride home.
total for food - $45.50
Other: there were no other expenses. For real! I could have chose to buy some other things like clothes (cause we did go shopping one day) or whatever, but chose not to. We also went to the zoo one day and that was FREE! So, that's it.
Total spent = $59.50

Have fun & let me know if you go to Chi-town any time soon...and how much you spend! :)

Love, P

~ Springtime in Virginia ~

2009-05-21T01:36:00.004-04:00

Oma Jane with Patrick ~ enjoying the fun sidewalk chalk!

My little sweet Erin ~ 1 yrs old now!

Vos Family ~ some of my awesome family.

~ Springtime in Virgina ~

Every Spring we take a trip down to the lovely state of Virginia
to visit my older brother & his family, & this year was no exception.
My parents, older sis Charis, lil sis Promise & I packed up and drove down to
Roanoke, VA on May 6th. We enjoyed the lovely weather, many walks with
the kiddos, playing & reading & coloring w/ chalk, family meal times with
Daniel and Rebekah, and overall just had a relaxing time. I, for one, was thankful
for the time away to relax as I had just finished final exams the day we left!
On the drive home we stopped over in Ohio to stay a night at Aunt MB's house.
It was also good to catch up with her, uncle Dave and cousin Terra.
It was Mother's Day ~ so we got enjoy a late dinner of their
leftovers...mmm! Uncle Dave is a great cook. :)
We drove the second half in the morning.

Since my brother began college in 2000 we have taken 2-3 trips down
per year to visit him. And then he got a job, got married,
bought a house, and began a family...and we still continue to go down to
visit regularly. And I hope we ALWAYS will. I have taken a couple
trips down on my own as well. It's always seems
to be a nice time away and wonderful to spend time together!

Love, P

Serving

2009-05-21T01:16:00.004-04:00

This past year I have been serving by volunteering at Children's Hospital of Michigan (in downtown Detroit). Since last June I have been going almost every Monday for 3 hrs. I spent time helping in the playroom/activity centers by playing with children and helping them do crafts, in patients rooms at bedside reading to them or playing games or holding/cuddling/feeding the babies, & once a month or so I would bring in my violin and play music in the main lobby area. People would hear me as they walked in or out...many positive comments were made to me about how lovely my music was and how much they enjoyed it. I'm thankful to have touched so many lives through volunteering at CHM! Here are a couple photos of me in the hospital on a typical day. :) I am currently in school to become a nurse and hope to finish my degree in the next few years and then use my skills in Africa eventually. I am thankful for the opportunity to have been able to see more of what goes on in a hospital through my volunteer experience at CHM this past year.

"I tend to think of serving God in terms of grand, heroic acts -- but serving Him daily, in all the everyday and trivial events of my life, actually requires far more discipline and commitment. Something as ordinary as doing the laundry or cleaning a bathroom can lead my heart to God, so long as I offer everything I do up to Him." -Elizabeth Prentiss

words to live by...

2009-04-23T00:42:00.004-04:00

Proverbs 20:24
A man's steps are directed by the LORD.

How then can anyone understand his own way?
Sometimes when I look at my life it doesn't make sense to me. After reading this Proverb though, it makes sense...God is directing me life and it all makes sense to Him, but to me it may not. I have to trust His plan each step of the way.

Proverbs 20:19
A gossip betrays a confidence;
so avoid a man who talks too much.
I wonder sometimes how some people can talk soo much all the time. I never want to talk more then I listen. And I dislike gossiping, though I do participate in it often.

Proverbs 20:7
The righteous man leads a blameless life;
blessed are his children after him.
I pray that I will be said to have led a blameless life, and that I will leave a legacy behind for generations after me. And I pray my children will be blessed!

Proverbs 20:5
The purposes of a man's heart are deep waters,
but a man of understanding draws them out.
I really do believe God has set purpose/s in my heart for my life for me to live out...I pray that I will have wisdom and understanding so truly draw them out...like water from a deep well as the Proverb says.

Proverbs 20:4
A sluggard does not plow in season;
so at harvest time he looks but finds nothing.
Lazy...is something I never wish to be. It is hard sometimes to be productive, persevering, and planning ahead when around you there are many lazy folks just riding along carelessly. God wants us to be hardworking that we may have a harvest.

Proverbs 20:3
It is to a man's honor to avoid strife,
but every fool is quick to quarrel.
Anger = a struggle for me. I admit I can be easily angered sometimes, and be quick to quarrel or yell...God has helped me in this area tremendously but I continually need His help moment by moment in my life-walk.

Read/study the book of Proverbs ~ each one has so much to say.
Gain wisdom, gain understanding.

love, P

some wise words for daily living:

2009-04-21T00:12:00.003-04:00

wise words for daily life:
~Protect nights, and days as well; don't stay up on the computer til 3am often
~Rest on Sundays!
~draw into God's word D A I L Y
~cultivate friendships :)
~do something each day that is fun, that you enjoy doing (bike riding, gardening, baking, painting, take a nap, run...)
~get enough sleep each night
~eat right/well, exercise regularly, drink enough water each day...

The mind, body, & spirit are really close neighbors, and often catch the diseases of the others. Emotional problems can lead to spiritual problems, etc.

"The LORD is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The LORD is the stronghold of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?" ~ Psalm 27:1

Love, P

George Mueller's Secret

2009-04-20T23:50:00.005-04:00

Today I choose to, with God's help, die to myself.

Today I die to Priscilla Vos:
~to her tastes, her opinions, her preferences, and her will.
~I die to the world -it's approval or censure.
~I die to the approval or blame even of my brethren, friends, and family.

I choose today to study only how to show myself approved unto God.

Fiesta Freedom Ride!

2009-03-23T13:53:00.004-04:00

Hey y'all,

Check out this awesome little video my Dad, sister, and I put together! Watch it, comment on it, help us win...and we'll come out and visit you in it! :)

Thanks, love, Cil

2009-03-03T01:25:00.002-05:00

My little sister Promise is a runner. She is fast and furious! You betta watch out for her. :) I just want to congratulate her here in getting 6th place in her event at the indoor track state meet up at CMU over the weekend! So, congrats Prom, I am proud of you!
Keep running the good race! I love you, Cil

1 Corinthians 9:24 says, "Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize."

Learning to surrender...

2009-03-03T00:38:00.005-05:00

I recently have become a girls small group leader for some of the girls in the youth group I help with at church. This year the other leaders and I have implemented these new small groups for the older girls which has already proven to be a wonderful to way to get to know them better and to build good relationships with them; but also to be able to encourage them in their growth in Christ and watch them mature in their faith. I have four girls in my group and they are all in 9th/10th grades. It is neat to see them study and share what they're learning through our study and discussion. We are working our way through a devotional book by Cynthia Heald called Becoming a Woman of Excellence. There are 4 parts to the study each containing a few chapters. The first part was called The Goal. Now we're working on part two called The Cost. It's all directed at finding out how to know God more and how to become a more excellent woman of God. So far it has been a wonderful study and would highly recommend it. I anticipate it to bear much fruit in my life and the lives of the young girls I am studying with! Anyway, having said all that I wanted to share a quote I read as I began chapter four in the book this afternoon. This chapter is talking about surrender...what is it?, how does one surrender?, being rooted in surrender... So, here is the quote:

"It would seem that there is within each of us an enemy which we tolerate at our peril. Jesus called it 'life' and 'self', or as we would say, the self-life. To allow this enemy to live is in the end to lose everything. To repudiate it and give all for Christ's sake is to loose nothing at last, but to preserve everything unto life eternal." -A.W. Tozer (The Pursuit of God)

And then another quote, from Oswald Chambers in his book My Utmost for His Highest (from October 23rd's daily reading)says: "There is only one thing God wants in us, and that is unconditional surrender."

Luke 9:23 says, "Then he said to them all: 'If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me."
What does this verse mean to you personally, how do you live it out? Are you denying yourself, taking up your cross daily, and following Jesus? These are tough questions, some that are thought provoking and causing me to really look at my life and ask myself how am I denying myself, taking up my cross daily, and following Jesus?

Richard Foster, in his book Celebration of Discipline, defines self-denial as "simply a way of coming to understand that we do not have to have our own way."

Wow, understanding that we do not have to have our own way... that's really tough to do! So many times, almost all the time, we want our own way. But God has His way, and He knows what is best. We have learn to trust Him and His ways more and more each day. :)

Well, these are my thoughts for the day...it's late now so goodnight!
-Cil

let everything else go...

2009-02-21T11:28:00.000-05:00

There is only one relationship that matters; and that is your personal relationship to a personal redeemer and Lord. Let everything else go, but maintain that at all costs, and God will fulfill His purpose through your life. -Oswald Chambers

2009.

2009-01-13T23:10:00.003-05:00

Happy New Year everyone!
How did you spend New Year's Eve?
My family & I welcomed in the new year
of 2009 at our dear friends the Jagts home
out in the lovely wooded area of Howell, MI.
There we arrived around 7 in the evening and
were warmly greeted. The evening was spent
chatting & fellowshipping, playing the game
Apples to Apples,
enjoying some delicious food (and even birthday
cake for Ann's 50th!), many of us shared some musical
delights and shared some songs on our instruments or in singing,
and then we ended the lovely night with the countdown til 2009 & some
champagne to toast the new year! It was an incredibly enjoyable night,
filled with MUCH laughter!!

The next day I headed up north to Cadillac, MI area with Liz, a friend of mine.
We spent the next few days at a LOGOS retreat where we both met many new people, played games of various sorts (like spoons, catch phrase, & musical chairs), listened
to a wonderful speaker share with us about God's sovereignty and providence, we discussed what we learned in our small groups, and Friday we all enjoyed a day-away activity...I chose skiing! I had wanted to try it for a while and jumped at the chance. So, after I fell a couple times I started to get the hang of it, and loved it! A girl I'd met the previous day named Bethany was skiing for the first time as well, so we stuck together the whole day, and really enjoyed the time together. I came away with only one bruise and look forward to the next chance I get to go again. :)

Today is Jan 13th and it's my first day back to classes after the Christmas break. Today went really well. I'm already excited about my new classes and profs and what I'll learn over the next few months. Of course there will be stresses, etc. but I'm so thankful for this new year, new semester, new day, and all the things God will teach me this year!

Last week I was invited by a friend of mine (Liz) to join Bible Study Fellowship (BSF)...it's a class that goes through different bible studies each year meeting once a week and also having fellowship times...I'd been looking for something like this to be a part of or thinking of starting my own group, so it was perfect timing. I love it so far..have already met some neat girls & guys and learned more about the life of Moses, which is what we're going though in the bible study this year. So, thank You LORD for opening the way to join BSF, thanks for Liz telling me about it. thank You for the people I could already meet, what I've already learned through the study, and I eagerly look forward to what You will continue to reveal to me through the study of Your holy word!

Well, it is getting late folks, and I have to be up early to babysit in the morning...so adios and goodnight. Love, P

hockey game.

2008-12-29T01:03:00.003-05:00

Over the weekend I attended my first hockey game at the Joe Louis Arena
in downtown Detroit! I went with my friend Alison who attends Mich Tech Univ, her boyfriend who also attends MTU, and a couple of Chinese girls my friend knows from school. The game was MTU vs. U of M. MTU lost pretty bad, but I heard they won the next day vs. North Dakota. It was a fun day. I enjoyed spending time with Alison, and the girls, and getting to know her boyfriend a bit. And it was really neat being at the Joe for the 1st time...it's a huge place! I hope to go to a Red Wings games sometime this season possibly. Anyway, I had a good after-Christmas-weekend, hope you all did as well. Until next time, Cil

My sister Talitha got married!

2008-12-23T11:11:00.004-05:00

Here's a few photos from the beautiful wedding day - December 20, 2008! The day was very memorable, fun, and special, not to mention emotional. I'm so happy for my sister Tali and my new brother Josh!

New Christmas Song!

2008-12-08T23:01:00.002-05:00

My Dad wrote this new Christmas song...
now it's on YouTube...check it out!
And spread the Word!

trust

2008-12-02T22:41:00.003-05:00

Learning to trust.
It may be hard sometimes,
but it's always worth it to
trust in God.

I was reminded of an important lesson again
yesterday...you never truly know what a day will bring.

But if you're trusting God, He has you in His hand.

He will hold you through the hard times, and the good times too.

Romans 8:28 says: "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."

And there's a song in my mind right now... You never let go, You never let go, You never let go-o... HE will not let me go. Thank you GOD.

Thankful hearts!

2008-11-26T13:55:00.002-05:00

I hope you have a blessed and wonderful Thanksgiving!

Psalm 69:30 says - "I will praise the name of God with a song; I will magnify Him with thanksgiving."

So, be thankful for all that God has given to you and praise His name. Enjoy the time with family & friends, and all the delicious food you're sure to enjoy.

Until next time, Cilla

Our Chicago adventure!

2008-11-16T17:15:00.015-05:00

God has blessed me with many friends over the past few years.
Several of my chums live in the Chicago area (either to go to school, work, or just live). Last weekend my friend Annie and I took a megabus from Detroit over to the Windy City to visit our friends there. Our bus left early the Friday morning and we arrived to Brittany's place (our friend at Columbia) by noon. B was heading off to her photo class so Annie and I explored the area and strolled up and down Mich. Ave. The wind was quite strong and chilly that day so we stopped for some hot drinks at Starbucks and sat down to chat for a while and warm up. We ended up sharing about what we've been reading lately in the Word, and it turned into a little Bible study. :) That night we arranged for a few of our friends in that area and us two to all meet up for dinner. The six of us went to Tamerind (a very eclectic, cute little asian food place), where we all enjoyed eachother's company and some tasty Indian & Chinese food. After we ate Annie went with Brittany to go to a band show and spend the next day and half with her (they did a lot of really cool, fun stuff, including looking at apartments with Luke, and finding one! Yay!!). And I headed to Moody, with Kelsey and her friend Elaina (who had joined us for dinner), where we were going to watch and movie and make brownies with some other girls from their hall. I spent Friday night with Kels. We slept in Saturday and had a late breakfast of scrambled eggs and rice chips (you might think it sounds weird, but it was very good!). We spent the afternoon walking and shopping, then Qdoba's for dinner. Kels and I entered the lottery/drawing to try to get last-minute tickets for the 8pm Wicked show, but our names didn't get pulled...we were both a little disappointed...but instead we went to plan B...we hopped on the blueline train to Logan Square to go meet Luke and watch a movie with A & B. Luke and his buddies live in a nice big old house with wood floors, and they have a piano. And a cat named Geppetto. ;) Sunday we went to church and got some lunch at Corner Bakery. Then Annie and I said our goodbyes to Kels and Britt and the two of us headed out on the 2:40 Metra train going out to Wheaton, to visit Hannah!! An hour later and we were with Hannah at her nice little house her and her three roommates are renting out this year just off campus from Wheaton College where they all attend. Anyway, we saw the house then went to get groceries to make stirfry and rice for supper. We also stopped at La Spiaza coffeeshop for an hour to chat and enjoy some hot coffee drinks. Annie, Hannah, and I had fun cooking dinner back at the house and pretending we were on a cooking show. ;) Marie (the housemate from Alaska) joined us for dinner. Then we cleaned up, boiled some water for tea, & settled down to watch a movie. It was done around 10 and we were all very tired so headed straight to bed...we felt like old ladies. Ha ha! After a great night of rest, we got an early start. By now it was Monday and Annie and I were heading back home that day. So we got up at 6:17 and got our bags packed up. Then at about 6:40 Hannah, Marie, Annie, & I headed out to have a nice breakfast at a little cafe in town before we left. The name of the place slips my mind now, but's something like Egg-centric or Egg-celent! ;) Anyway, so we enjoyed some coffee, omlettes, and hashbrowns. We said our goodbyes and the two of us took the Metra back into Chicago arriving a little after 9am, then on to our megabus ride home which left Chicago at half past 10am. On the bus there was a couple (M & R) who had also rode to the City with us, so we all kinda told eachother about what we'd done over the weekend. Annie and I talked a lot on the way home, then we both slept for a while. The bus stopped once along the way home and we arrived in Detroit at 5 ish that evening. Our adventure wasn't over yet. We took the people-mover to the Ren Cen to meet my Dad (after his day of work, cause He works near there) then we rode the Smart bus home with my Dad. We had to wait in the cold for it to come. Even though I got cold waiting, I enjoyed having that experience to know what my Dad does every day (riding the bus to/from work each day). So we arrived back home to my house at about 7 o'clock and warmed up with some dinner, and Annie went home to her house. We both had a fantastic time visiting with friends, seeing new places, and just being off in the big city! Annie is excited to go back there soon, in fact she's moving to Chicago next month with B & K! I look forward to going back again too. Hopefully to visit in the Spring over break...and maybe move there in the next couple years...God is so big, it's exciting to think about His plan for my life. I don't really know, but I am excited!
[For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11]

Learning to live in His presence...

2008-11-16T17:05:00.002-05:00

Draw away daily (spend time in prayer and in the Word each day),
retreat weekly (set aside Sundays as a day to rest and think on God's goodness),
abandon yearly (go on a retreat/special weekend getaway once a year),
as you practice the presence of God in your life.

Choices...

2008-10-12T00:03:00.008-04:00

Lord,
I love you. You are Great. Full of power & might.
You are mysterious. and moving, in my life today and always.
Your Spirit is dwelling within me. Praise You Lord, I praise You LORD!

Thank you for the simple things in life:
walking with a friend. sipping tea. laughing with my cousin about silly childhood memories. smiling until my mouth hurts. sitting in the sun.

There are many choices every day...choosing what to wear, what to eat, where to shop...what to believe in, who to marry, who to trust, where to live, who to love...who to believe...

many choices, many decisions in life...big and small.
it's hard to decide what's important sometimes,
but Jesus has the answer:

He says, "Follow Me."

Jesus IS the answer!

Who are you following? Your own passions and purposes?
Or are you after something bigger, something meaningful, something eternal? Are you after God?
Are you following Him, seeking Him with all you are?

Grab your Bible or borrow from a friend or ask a local church for one if you don't have/own one...Look up and read John 12. It speaks of God's power and how He wants us to follow Him.

Lord, fill me with contentment to follow You wholeheartedly and not be so distracted by the things of this world.
In Jesus' name, amen.

[if you read this and would like someone to talk to about it or have questions, let me know, leave me a comment. and i'd love to talk to you.]

autumn.

2008-10-09T15:51:00.005-04:00

Thank You God
for
...
autumn, and all the vibrant colors.
...
family, and spending time together.
...
life, You are my life-giver.
...
breath, each one is from You
...
Continue to remind me
each day,
how much
I need
YOU.
...
Thank you God for
leading me in life to where I am now,
and continue to guide my steps each day.
I desire to walk in the steps You've
set for me since before I was born.
Fill me with contentment in
You, O God.
...
I am learning that contentment
is NOT
a matter of account
or location
or circumstances
...
true contentment
is
a matter of the heart
...
and true contentment is
found only
in
God,
my Lord and Savior.
...
Let me rest in
You,
each day.
...
Let me grow ever closer
to
You.
...

[[thanks to whoever took the photo. from somewhere on the internet.]]

L. O. V. E.

2008-10-09T15:41:00.003-04:00

LOVE.
what is love?
it's laying down your life for a friend.
it's putting others ahead of yourself.
it's words of encouragement spoken sincerely.
words of love spoken gently.
caring.
being real, being honest.
perfect love casts out fear.
God is love.
love is:
patient, kind,
joyful&
forgiving.
&love is forever!

LOVE OUT LOUD!

questions...

2008-10-01T23:08:00.004-04:00

when will it get better? when will i change? won't i just one day wake up and all my problems be gone?

I ask myself these questions and similar ones sometimes and wonder when will my problems go away. God doesn't promise us an easy life, a life free of of trouble. In fact Jesus says in John 16:33, "In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." We will have trouble, I do have trouble right now, every day. But Jesus tells us to take heart cause He has overcome the world!

I've been realizing that I need to be proactive in working out my problems or just things that arise in my life...I need to be on my knees asking God for help. I need to begin re-training my thought-process. Learning to live for HIM more is tough. Sometimes I wonder how life is so complicated. I feel like nothing makes sense and that all things are irrelevant. What really matters in this life? Not what the world says. What God says matters. Study God's word and seek HIM. Learn to live a life worthy of HIS calling, worthy of what matters to HIM. This is what I want.

I guess focusing in on the blessings in my life and on all the good things happening helps too.
I sometimes think I'm a "half-glass empty" kinda girl, but other times I am very optimistic about life. Focusing on my blessings should really be my focus though. It's not whether I am feeling optimistic or pessimistic that day, it's about tuning into and magnifying all the many blessings in my life. Whether BIG or small or HUGE or teeny-tiny...God has truly blessed me and is working in my life so much even now. Praise GOD!

these are some thoughts from my mind tonight. there's so much more, but that's it for today.
may God bless you. amen.

This is the day!

2008-09-23T23:12:00.004-04:00

[Every day brings a new day!
And today begins the rest of your life!
Seek to live life for God.]

eating lunch with you.

2008-09-21T01:38:00.001-04:00

sometimes just sitting.
being with someone special to you.
is better then talking to them.

two people sitting in the sunshine.
on the grass.
having a picnic lunch.
taking a break.
from the day at school.

maybe saying a few words.
asking how the day is going.
or telling a funny story.
[but mostly just BEING together.]

i love these times with my sister tali!

it hit me the other day.
pretty hard.
that in three months.
she'll be off and married.
a wife, living with her husband.
still my little sister.
but no longer little.
and no longer living in the same house as me.
no more carpooling to college or sharing lunches together.

i will miss all these things.
the good times.
and even the times we've fought.
as we know, life isn't always 'flowers and hotdogs'.
i love all the times we've had growing up together these past 18 years.
no one can take those memories away.
and i wouldn't trade them for anything.

but that doesn't make these big changes any easier.
i will miss her being around the house.
and fighting over the car with her.
or laughing about some things no one else would understand.
God has blessed me in so many ways.
and I have grown immensely through my relationship with my sista talitha.

now to focus on the positives.
i look forward to seeing their new home.
and going over for meals.
and seeing her and her husband together as a married couple.
and to see where God leads them in the path of life.
near or far, but always serving Him.
and i look forward to the advice she'll have to offer me.
when my turn comes (Lordwilling) to be married.
since she'll have marriage experience already.
which is weird to think of, but it's true.

i am jealous sometimes.
and i cry too.
but i know this is all in His hands.
and it's in His perfect timing.
i love how God's plan unfolds, even when i don't understand it.
in each of our lives.
so different for each one of us.

i will always love my tali girl.
(here i am starting to cry now.)
and i am truly happy and excited for you and joshy in this.
i wasn't at first.
and that still creeps in sometimes.
but God has done so much work in my heart.
and i am only able to say this happened by His power.

thank you so much for being who you are.
i feel honored to be one of your bridesmaids.
i look forward to the special day.

in the meantime though.
lets keep focusing on the present.
keep enjoying our rides to and from hfcc.
and our lunches together in the sunshine, or the rain.

life is so much better with you in it. :)

mucho love to you foreva and eva, big sista cil xo

today.

2008-09-21T01:27:00.000-04:00

we drove up and parked.
began cleaning up the little park @ 2nd and Seldan in downtown detroit.
some local people were just sitting on the benches chilling out.
we pulled weeds and picked up all the garbage around the park.
then we set up the bbq stuff, the tables, and alllll the food.

i met an energetic man named stephen who's a great-grandfather and only 54. he just moved here from texas last summer. me and t prayed for him. he smiled and was so touched when i asked could we pray for him...he said of course! so we did. he said we blessed him so much today and brightened up his life. we didn't even do a whole lot, but he was soo blessed.

then there was irita. she has lots of grandkids. she's a good grandmother to them, lets them come over even when she's tired out. she's going back to school right now so she can become re-certified for her job. she talked and shared with me about her life. i didn't say much back to her, just listened. i prayed for her too, and she thanked me. then she left.

the food...the smells and the smoke of the bbq grill drew people towards the little park we were at today. hungry&homeless. hungry for food. and more. homeless and poor people flocked in from around the area. the line was steady for an hour or so.

one man had a hurt leg and was very quiet and hunched over.
he had the world's troubles written all over his clothes and his face.
wondering where he's come from and where he's going now...

i wonder about these people.

I love them.
they're my neighbors.

Love God. Love your neighbor.
[the two greatest commandments.]

i love the words of God...

"Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. 6 These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. 7 Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. 8 Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. 9 Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates." Deuteronomy 6:5-9

"Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?" 37Jesus replied: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.38This is the first and greatest commandment. 39And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.40All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments." Matthew 22:36-40

and i love the words of mother teresa...

"We must acknowledge the dignity of the poor, respect them, esteem them, love them, serve them. Often I think they are the ones to whom we owe our greatest gratitude. They teach us by their faith, their resignation, their patience in suffering. They allow us to help them. We should experience not pity but compassion towards them." -Mother Teresa

"The greatest poverty in the world is not the want of food but the want of love. You have the poverty of people who are dissatisfied with what they have, who do not know how to suffer, who give in to despair. The poverty of the heart is often more difficult to relieve and to defeat." -Mother Teresa

i am eager to continue to learn to live like this in my own life.
Loving God first and foremost, and loving others second, and loving myself third.

"those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint." Isaiah 40:31

that's all for now.

Never be afraid to trust

2008-09-18T02:50:00.009-04:00

"NEVER BE AFRAID TO TRUST AN UNKNOWN FUTURE TO A KNOWN GOD." [-Corrie ten Boom]

this is my life:

2008-09-18T02:50:00.007-04:00

taking a lovely afternoon stroll in the 'hood with the chilins.

opa doug reading to patrick.
he lovessss books! they both do in fact. :)

Me and Erin. my sweetie pie.

My mom with her granddaughter Erin Mairead
in September 2008

THINK ABOUT IT

2008-09-18T02:50:00.002-04:00

I was going through some writings and things from my time in South Africa again tonight and found this writing (the source is unknown). At Ron and Lynn's farewell dinner Lynn read this story which provokes much though and maybe some emotions. She got it from her Ron's friends Pam and Michael Hudson who are in Accra, Ghana. So, go ahead read through it...and then think about it and tell me what you think...

Think About It...

If we could reduce the world's population to a village of precisely 100 people, with all existing human ratios remaining the same, the demographics would look something like this:

60 Asians, 14 Africans, 12 Europeans, 8 Latin Americans, 5 US Americans and Canadians

49 would be female
51 would be male

82 would be non-white, 18 white

89 heterosexual, 11 homosexual

33 would be Christian, 67 would be non-Christian

5 would control 32% of the entire world's wealth, and all of them would be US citizens

80 would live in substandard housing

24 would not have any electricity (And of the 76% that do have electricity, most would only use it for light at night.)

67 would be unable to read

1 (only one) would have a college education.

50 would be malnourished and 1 dying of starvation

33 would be without access to a safe water supply

1 would have HIV

1 near death

2 would be near birth

7 people would have access to the Internet

If you take a look at the world from this condensed perspective,
the need for acceptance, understanding and education becomes evident.

If you woke up this morning with more health than sickness, you are luckier than the million who will not survive this week.

If you have never experienced a war, a loneliness of an imprisonment, an agony of tortures, or a famine
You are happier, than 500 million persons in this world.

If you are able to go to church, mosque or synagogue without fear of
harassment, arrest, torture or death, you are happier, than 3 billion persons in this world.

If there is a meal in your refrigerator, if you are dressed and have shoes,
if you have a bed and a roof above your head, you are better off, than 75% of people in this world.

If your parents are still alive and still married, then you are a rarity.

If you have a bank account, money in your purse, and there is some trifle in your coin box,
you belong to 8% of well-provided people in this world.

If you read this text, you are blessed three times as much, because someone has thought of you.

You do not belong to those 2 billion people which cannot read and... you have your computer!

This is your World! And you are able to make changes! Hasten to do good works! Think of it!

[source unknown]

i want joyful Jesus hands

2008-09-10T23:10:00.005-04:00

"There is nothing dreary or doubtful about (the life). It is meant to be continually joyful.... We are called to a settled happiness in the Lord whose joy is our strength." -A Chance to Die p.241

I read a story, or writing rather, today about how our hands can be used to serve others and do things for others. We can and must use them in powerful ways. We need to use them to share Jesus' love. [our hands are no longer ours, but they belong to Jesus.]

Lord, I pray that you would bring me the joy and strength which comes from You alone that I might use these hands for You each day. To serve you and serve others, and to love you and love others.
in Your name. amen.

I wanted you from the beginning of time.

2008-08-30T23:58:00.000-04:00

tonight when i checked my email i had one from my dear friend theresa. she attached a beautiful song. [the words are below, i know it's kinda long. but i encourage you to read through it.]

Some lives begin by accident, so they say, so they say.
And some lives were never meant, so they say, so they say.
But I say to you, there are no mistakes, it's true.
For I gave My life to prove, that I wanted you.
I wanted you from the beginning of time, I wanted you and
I want you to know how glad I am that you're Mine!
You will be rejected sometimes in this life, but I chose you, selected you, making you Mine.
I wanted you, so I made you and called you to be Mine.
I wanted you and I want you to know that you're worth My own life.
I wanted you, and I still do. Some lives are not worth living for, so they say, so they say.
But the smallest of lives are worth so much more, so I say, so I say.
And I say to you, put down the lies, believe what's true,
what My heart already knew; that I wanted YOU.
I wanted you, so I made you and called you to be Mine.
I wanted you and I want you to know that you're worth My own life.
I wanted you, and I still do.
[from Songs of Ministry. I Wanted You. by Dennis Jernigan.]

as i listened to this song, i was perusing through old photos of the african babies i helped take care of last year. i almost began crying as i listened to the beautiful words of the song, and as i remember each of those pairs of helpless eyes i gazed into. this song fits their life exactly. they were abandoned, left in a field, on a doorstep. or in a garbage bin. they may have seemed like a "mistake" when their AIDS-stricken mother birthed them. but God knew what He was doing when he made them. and when He made me and you. God knew you before the beginning of the world. He loves you! "Lord, you have been our dwelling place in all generations. Before the mountains were brought forth, or ever you had formed the earth and the world, from everlasting to everlasting you are God." Psalm 90:1,2
and then i was reading through a thank-you letter i sent out after i returned home from south africa. and this is what stuck out to me:
["My heart would break knowing the stories of how the babies came to us. Each one special, each one unique. Some were abandoned in the hospital just after being born. Some were left on a street corner, in a garbage dump, a public restroom, an open field, or on a doorstep. My heart goes out to each little one of them. While rocking them, I would gaze into their dark, little eyes, seeing in them their helplessness and dependency on me for their every need. I could also see my own reflection in their eyes and was reminded of my own helplessness and need to depend on God for all my needs. They showed me how to love with the deepest, most meaningful, and genuine love, as God does. I loved deeply and opened my heart fully. I let them in and these wee little babies taught me things about life, love, and God's purpose for me."]

so, you are important. God carefully created you. and has a beautiful plan in store for your life. stop letting those lies swirl in your mind. p, you matter. believe the truth He has given you. don't let your thoughts condemn or control you any more. I wanted you, and I still do. "By this we shall know that we are of the truth and reassure our heart before him; for whenever our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart, and he knows everything." 1 John 3:19,20

thank you Jesus for saving me. i love you so much!

all jumbled up.

2008-08-29T17:51:00.000-04:00

just back to classes for the fall semester. getting back into the mode of doing homework and studying in my spare time. it's a challenge. i'm already feeling a bit overwhelmed. but i know i need to keep it all in perspective. and keep my priorities straight. after all, what really matters is not a good grade. but whether i've loved with all that is within me.

one of my friends and i decided this year that we want to be diligent in our studies and use time more wisely. so we can still have time to spend with family. our friends. helping others. or spending precious time with Him. we do not want to be consumed by school. or let it define us. we want Christ to be our all. and everything else to flow out of our love for Him.

i'm a student at a community college, so not all the students are from the typical 18-22 year old age group. there are many 20 somethings and middle-aged adults. i like having older people around. so, in my advanced first aid class this week we all introduced eachother, and there are some really neat people. one lady has 9 kids and another man has 15. i also met a man who's son was murdered at age 2. and one of my a&p lab partners who is only a few years older then me is married and has 3 kids. looking at each of these individuals i don't think i would ever have guessed all that on my own. i love hearing people's stories. about their life. i am so quick to label people sometimes or just think they're a certain way. based on what? just the way they look or act or dress.

[everyone has a story. everyone matters.]

the bible says: "judge not, that you be not judged. for with the judgement you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you." matthew 7:1

i desire to start loving people, even strangers. more and more. like Jesus does. unconditionally. and with great compassion. Jesus said ["I have compassion on the crowd..."] He loves the people we try to stay away from. He loves the neighbor we never talk to. He loves the people we avoid looking at. or those we don't even see. He is the example of love. He is LOVE.

so, where do i start? there's a huge world out there... start with your own neighbor. the person who sits next to you in math class. your lab partner. love on your little sister or brother. start with those around you. wherever you find yourself.

do you ever think about the babies being born right now? like, right now there's a little boy being born in africa who has dark eyes. or a little girl in china. do you think about how much money you spend on yourself? or how people are dying of starvation right now? i am burdened by how frivolous we americans live. i am saddened when i think of all the suffering, dying people. and how i sit in my house and eat more food then i need, and not even think twice about it. i turn on the faucet and don't even realize what a privilege it is to have clean, running water. or use a real toilet, when thousands of people go in the street each day.

i am attached to many things i own. whether it's clothing, money, books, the computer, cds, my camera, or cozy bed. have these things become little idols? God commands us in the second commandment to have no idols. i probably break that commandment every day. does that make me sad? or do i just keep on living the exact same way? Lord, strip me of all the little idols i have made for myself. And make me fully Yours! [if we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 1 john 1:9] Thank you Jesus!

all of these thoughts of mine don't really flow together i guess, but they just kinda jumbled out. the Lord is working in my heart and molding me to be more like Himself each day. there are so many uncertainties in my life. i mean i guess that's true for each one of us whether we admit it or not. only God knows when we'll die. in all of life's trials, troubles, joy, & pain. HE is there. are you trusting Him today?

Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him; fret not yourself over the one who prospers in his way, over the man who carries out evil devices! Refrain from anger, forsake wrath! Fret not yourself; it tends only to evil. For the evildoers shall be cut off, but those who wait for the LORD shall inherit the land." Psalm 37:7-9