Lake Superior.

August 2011.

"I lack nothing"

In the morning,

I spent time with God this morning.

Focused, unrushed, it was refreshing.

I read Psalm 22 and 23.

Even though I have read Psalm 23 hundreds of times,

it still impacts me.

It's simple truths comfort me.

I think that is what it is.

"The LORD is my shepherd;

I shall not want [I lack nothing].

He makes me lie down in green pastures.

He leads me beside still waters [beside waters of rest].

He restores my soul."

//Psalm 23:1-3a

So, with the Lord as my shepherd, watching over me, guiding me, I don't need to fear or worry... even though I do, often. "i lack nothing"... He is caring for me, my needs, He loves ME...

But, I forget so easily.

Lord, help me to remember how you care, before I start to worry.

goodnight world, hope you rest well!

"There. I did it."

There. I did it.
I went to a place where he goes.
I felt nervous, at first.
I didn't know what I would do if I saw him again.
I prayed as I drove: Lord, help me, if I see him, to know what to say.

Then, we got there, parked, went in.
I looked around as we sat down, and I was half-trying to look around for him,
and half-trying to avoid looking around for him incase he was there.
My heart was pounding pretty hard.

We sang, we prayed, we listened.
I felt less nervous.
I knew it would be okay.
If I saw him, I knew it would be alright.

But, I didn't.
Then, when the service was done, I left.
I was okay with not "bumping" into him, but at the same time I half-wished I had.

I'm home now.
And, I wonder sometimes...
Will I ever see him again?
What would it be like?
How would we interact?
Would anything come of it?
If we had a happenstance meeting?

Why is this hard, still?
Sometimes, it still hurts.
I still think of him.
Then I try to pray.

Moving on is hard.
And, I'm not there yet.

t-h-a-n-k-f-u-l

12 things I'm thankful for . . .



thankful for my family, and how it has been growing / changing

for music, how it uplifts the spirit

for food, especially the home-cooked variety

friends, new ones and old

a book of Walter Brueggemann's prayers, Awed to Heaven, Rooted in Earth

hot tea in a ceramic mug, warm against my cheek

the coffee smell on my clothes and skin when I come home from my barista job

beautiful sunsets, & sunrises [and friends who love them too!]

my nephew, nieces, and little nephew on-the-way

doing laundry (maybe a weird thing to be thankful for, but I just so enjoy it)

baking, and sharing it with others / giving it away

hand-written letters

Just to name a few . . . there are numerous other things, people, places, actions I am thankful for, but for now it is off to dream-land I go. Night.

"Not always for you"

Walter Brueggemann wrote this prayer years ago,

Not always for you

"We yearn, in every season, for your presence;
We know that our hearts will be restless, until they rest in you;
We are like deer who seek a watering hole in the drought;
We hear invitations for "all who are weary and heavy-laden . . ."
And approach to you seems ready and easy.

Truth to tell, we do pant restlessly,
but not always for you.
Sometimes, instead for security
or sex and beer and sports,
or power and success,
or beauty and acceptance . . . not seeking you.

Truth to tell, we know you to be no easy mark,
with your rigorous entrance requirements
of blamelessness, truth-telling, no bribes,
and all manner of neighborliness.

We yearn for you in every season,
making you too easy, imagining you too difficult,
bewildered and unsure until you give yourself concretely to us . . .
as you have done and as you do. Amen. "

//Prayer of Walter Brueggemann / On reading Psalms 15, 24 / September 19, 2001